In my continuing effort to keep my mind active and my eternal search for new creative ideas to stretch my imagination, I bring you… “The Musical”.
Some years ago, in the last century, my collaboration writing of songs ended. My lyricist and singer decided to move across the river and produce more humans. I still wanted to make noise, so I took the latest ‘Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band’ album and made a parody. It is a bawdy affair, but fun to do. By the bicentennial, I’d bought a house with a basement and had set up a pseudo studio with no engineer or baffling. A multi-track reel-to-reel tape recorder allowed me to layer guitars and vocals. To hear the experiment, you can listen at https://soundcloud.com/pvtsalts
I grew up on movies. They were either war movies or Bible movies, but a few were musicals. On television, every guy had to know how to ride a horse and every celebrity had to sing and dance. ‘Bye Bye Birdie’, ‘Oklahoma’, ‘Carousel’, ‘West Side Story’ all had stage presentations before they moved to the celluloid big screen. They are basically telling a story in song and dance.
I didn’t have a particular theme but figured, like a book, each song could be a chapter or short story with a repeating cast of characters.
For the cast, I chose my friends (aka Significant Students), creating costumes that personified their particular personality as I perceived it at the time. This was the mid-seventies and drugs were involved.
One was called ‘the Lover’. He wore bright tights with a giant heart on the chest. Over that were a pair of boxers with hearts printed all over them. Of course, there was a cape. The foreseen big haired, spandex rock gods about to appear on stage. A teenage girl’s fantasy always in the spotlight.
The next was a disciplined military symbol of an endless war overseas. With ribbons and medals and sashes and a sword, he marched about exclaiming freedom through might, but with a hippy beard and long hair. He was ‘Genad’. A chick magnet due to the uniform.
‘Road Runner’ needed no explanation. Leather WW1 flyers cap and googles. A black leather motorcycle jacket with a long white scarf. Thick riding gloves and cowboy boots finished his outfit. This character was a romantic, but had no time to waste.
The spiritual leader was ‘Doc’. Wearing a white medical tunic or a black priest vestment and collar with a halo, he was the key character for the religious numbers. During the tawdry numbers, he would run about shaking his finger at the goings on. Other scenes he’d take the lead. You’ll see.
‘The Kid’ presented innocence. Wearing strip t-shirt and knickers, appeared as someone out of an ‘Our Gang’ comedy. A face covered in freckles with big red high tops and a beany completed the look. Sometimes he’d appear with a giant lollipop. Sometimes he’d appear in a clown face. Sometimes he’d appear in black face. He is mostly a mime and didn’t speak.
The last character was just the opposite. ‘Gramps’ was a mixture of Gabby Hayes and Jerry Garcia. Frosty gray hair and long beard with sunglasses to hide his age. Suspenders holds up baggy pants and while resting in a rocker in the wings, he’d smoke a pipe and play a guitar.
Female characters were for dancing and background singing as a mixture of cheerleaders, vailed belly dancers, tough biker babes, beach bunnies and a smattering of prom queens.
Let us begin.
Act 1
NEVER GAVE A DAMN
The curtain opens with all
the cast stomping around on the stage and pointing at the audience. Behind them
are images of riots and war and explosions and car crashes. At the time, the
protest slogan was ‘Give A Damn’ trying to get people involved in politics,
economics, inhumanity or be aware of the future.
“We jogged thru the parks to mugger’s delight
We raced ourselves home, for hours at night
We tamed the waves of the oceans might
And we smogged the sky that stole our sight
and we never gave a damn
never gave a damn
never gave a big god damn
We banned the bomb, but fought the war
We gave Blacks pride, but they wanted more
We spent our millions to even the score
To find a "Great Society" and then ask "What for?"
and we never gave a damn
never gave a damn
never gave a big god damn
We murdered a president just to watch him die
We took every drug, but never got high,
We thought we found the truth, and never gave it a try
And we stood on the moon with no wings to fly
and we never gave a damn
never gave a damn
never gave a big god damn
and we never gave a damn
never gave a damn
never gave a big god damn”
The music fades and the background changes.
Act 2
GOOD TIME MUSIC
Suddenly, the mood changes.
The depressing images are changed to flowers and birds and smiling children.
The light brightens and the music picks up pace. The cast goes out into the
audience they had previously scolded instructing them to stand up, clap their
hands and dance in the aisles.
“Here we are
Singing a song for you
Ease on back
Hope you will enjoy the view
Here we are
Singing a song for you
Ease on back
Hope you will enjoy the view
Here we are
Singing a song for you
Ease on back
Hope you will enjoy the view
We're goin' have good time music
We're got ourselves a good time beat
come on, clap your hands together
Stand up upon your feet
We're goin' have good time music
We're got ourselves a good time beat
come on, clap your hands together
Stand up upon your feet
We're goin' to have good times
Talking about good times
Goin has a good time
come on and sing along
We're goin' to have good times
Talking about good times
Goin has a good time
come on and sing along”
The curtain closes and the audience returns to their seats.
Act 3
THE LEADER
The lights dim to a single
spotlight. The ‘Lover’ is a solo acapella keeping singular attention of a rock
idol.
“I am here,
I am the leader,
Look this way,
Listen up
try and follow
the words I say
I am here,
I am the leader,
Look this way,
Listen up
try and follow
the words I say
For the truth is often bolder
than the way you thought it was
And the guy looking over your shoulder
might be a priest, might be the fuzz
I am here,
I am the leader,
Look this way,
Listen up
try and follow
the words I say (repeat)
We're gonna have a good time
but don't forget where you are
You're punks in steel and concrete
and I'm the star r rr rr r r rr rrrr
and I'm the star r rr rr r r rr rrrr
and I'm the star r rr rr r r rr rrrr”
The spotlight fades.
Act 4
WHISKEY DRINKING SONG
There have been drinking songs since sea chanteys to drunken slurred frat songs.
In the darkness there is scrapping of a set change and when the lights come up it looks like a local bar (aka Cheers). Each cast member sings a different verse.
“A single sip of a new brewed mass,
to sample a "taster's try",
A truck brings the bark of your dog,
and a dust cloud hits your eye,
by bottle, by bag, by case, by keg,
they come from miles around.
To drink soothing relief of their troubles.
Before they head for town.
And the thoughts fill your mind,
of what you leave behind,
Causing a surge of fire to the brain.
Your mouth says what you think,
as you head back for another drink,
to cry your blues away.
Stumble, half crawling, to your truck,
the silence dries your tears,
Stirring up gravel, to even the score,
for all those broken fears,
Speeding doesn't help to blur your thoughts,
Two lights pierce thru the fog,
A black and white head down a dusty road,
Brings the barks of your dog.”
Lights fade.
Act 5
BURGER SONG
Some more shuffling of the stage set and when the lights come up the bar has been transformed to a counter. The cast are wearing matching vest with paper hats. Dancers, wearing aprons, carrying trays with paper wrapped burgers tossing them into the audience.
“Hold the pickle, hold the lettuce,
Hold the mustard, hold the ketchup,
Hold the onion, hold the bun,
the size of this burger is sure no fun.
Eat um hot in paper bags,
or eat um when you go in drag,
Eat um up with coke and fries,
or crusty, tasty, mo-mo pies
Shove it down and pour it in,
You've got to eat, you've got to win,
So, pour it down and eat it fast
Your next bite might be your last.
So, hold the pickle, hold the fries,
Stop the soft drinks, stop the pies,
Slow it down, and eat it right,
Three good meals, morning, noon, and night.”
Curtain close.
Act 6
JOHN BOY JOHN
There was a new craze of religious musical (aka ‘Godspell’ and ‘Jesus Christ Superstar’) so why not get on the band wagon?
The curtain opens to a dimly
lite stage. ‘Doc’ steps forward. The rest of the cast and dancers marching
around carrying a plate with a head on it. There is blood all over the stage.
“John, boy John,
You were hot as fire,
When the disciples,
were on the hire,
But you lost your head over Jesus,
You lost your head over Jesus.
Up to your neck in water,
when "HE" came along,
Following "HIS" words,
trying to sing "HIS" song,
The words you said over Jesus.
"HE" broke your bread,
and spread "HIS" word,
But "HIS" voice was weak,
and could not be heard,
And the 12 were fed over Jesus.
On the water "HE" said, "Come follow me,
I'll make it calm on an angry sea."
The skies turned red over Jesus.
John, boy John,
What is your alibi,
If you were somewhere else,
then you won't have to die,
But you prayed, and bled over Jesus.
Jesus Christ,
we remember what you said,
And John, we forgot you,
Soon after you're dead,
Now you've lost your head over Jesus.
John, boy John,
You were hot as fire,
When the disciples,
We’re on the hire,
But you lost your head over Jesus,
You lost your head over Jesus.”
The dancers change into hazmat suits and mop up the stage as the curtain closes.
Act 7
JUMP
(Warning: This is about suicide).
The cast stand on an empty stage looking up while a background of sirens and
bullhorns
“Nervously you take a look around,
and ten flights down, on the ground,
a crowd starts to form, you hear a sound
telling you to jump,
telling you to stay,
The priest is here to "save your soul",
or give you "last rights", before you go,
and the crowd yells up, "On with the show"
and the film crew
sets up just in time.. e e e e e e e.
It's time to take your glide,
with TV lights as your guide,
waiting to give you a ride,
telling you to jump,
telling you to stay.
It's a crime they say you will commit,
Tomorrow you'll be a misfit,
it's your show, you'll be a "hit",
and the film crew
goes home to the midnight news.
The audience cheers for an encore,
climb back up, and do another soar,
but the Police lines say, "Sorry, no more...."
Stage goes dark and the curtains close.
Intermission
Act 8
BLACK BOY BLUES
The entire cast comes out in
black face doing a shuffling jive step. Each character takes a verse.
“White man, suck your cigarette,
cross the street and tighten your tie,
we know yo never got high,
You're a high school junkie, that's why.
Smiling at a cheerleader, you touch her hair,
She looks you over with a blinding stare,
Cause your style of love just doesn't compare,
The way that our love can do.
Popcorn at the drive-in, you gain her trust,
Making it simple, so she thinks that she must,
Between the sheets of a cheap motel, she cries in a hush,
And you give her half your name.
Running onto the field, they let out a gasp
Grasping helmets in hand, they let out a gasp
Think you only fake a
but the crowd run 'round you to form a new mass,
A worship to their "new " hero.
Now we sold you our best for cheap labor,
and we feel that we've paid your dues,
So, you better start looking over your shoulder,
the next "slave" might buy you. “
The curtain closes as smoke fills the stage and the sound of sirens.
Act 9
TO TELL YOU
This is ‘Road Runner’s’ song of love. He chases all the dancers around who all scorn his attention.
“You called me on the phone,
but I did all the talking,
You asked me a simple question,
but I kept on balking.
We've got to make it last,
for I have no one but you,
and you know,
you can,
lean on me too.
You said you like my style,
so, I tried all my loving,
Now we'll have to leave school,
spend our time making money.
We've got to make it last,
for I have no one but you,
and you know,
you can,
lean on me too.
You gave me all your love,
now our families growing,
I plead with you to stay,
but you say you're going.
I've tried before to tell you,
But I haven't found the words,
that I have no one,
want no one but you,
We've got to make it last,
For I have no one but you,
and I know I can lean on you too.”
The lights dim as the dancers go off stage leaving ‘Road Runner’ on his knees begging at the sky.
Act 10
YOU ARE A FOOL
‘The Lover’ comes out to chase off ‘Road Runner’ and gather the spotlight attention. Then he addresses the audience.
“You're a fool,
to believe,
That we care,
for we're not here to,
entertain you,
all those long hairs,
to speak out
You try to show us your way,
You try to make us smile,
You try to cry all over us,
someday give a try....,
You try to show us your way,
You try to make us smile,
You try to cry all over us,
someday give a try....,
You try to show us your way,
You try to make us smile,
You try to cry all over us,
someday give a try....,”
The rest of the cast and dancers reappear on the stage.
Act 11
GOOD TIME MUSIC (refrain)
Repeat of Act 2.
“Here we are
Singing a song for you
Ease on back
Hope you will enjoy the view
Here we are
Singing a song for you
Ease on back
Hope you will enjoy the view
Here we are
Singing a song for you
Ease on back
Hope you will enjoy the view
We're goin' have good time music
We're got ourselves a good time beat
come on, clap your hands together
Stand up upon your feet
We're goin' have good time music
We're got ourselves a good time beat
come on, clap your hands together
Stand up upon your feet
We're goin' to have good times
Talking about good times
Going has a good time
come on and sing along
We're goin' to have good times
Talking about good times
Going has a good time
come on and sing along (repeat and fade)”
Act 12
FOLLOW YOU
‘Doc’ starts this off, only
to be pushed aside by ‘The Lover’. This is the last scene to wrap up their
philosophy, religion, culture before a final bow.
“Christ,
we're shooting down the highway,
trying to see things your way,
Clouds,
are forming on the highway,
and your words are beginning to fade,
For we haven't seen a vision,
on our hotel television,
you are under suspicion,
Christ,
we've set a great spread,
for you to break the bread,
with plenty of burgers to be fed,
to the ones you raised, from the dead,
But you haven't had big tricks,
you won't let us have our kicks,
your recruiting seems to be fixed.
Christ,
you were such a crazy guy,
preaching to follow you as you died,
climb up, get nailed, give it a try,
You will join me up in the sky,
We still will buy your crosses,
plastic markers find no losses,
do you care how much it cost us,
for eternal life,
eternal life life life
eternal nal life life life lif lif”
Curtain close.
Amendment: “THE MUSICAL” has never been performed on stage. Other than what you’ve read and imagined from the description, there is no music video of a performance. Why?
My inspiration was to write a ‘musical’. The idea of a stage presentation with a cast of characters was my goal. No central theme but just a variety of songs presented by dancers and singers in costumes. I was not emotionally ingulfed by the project to carry it any further than some sample recordings with a single voice.
I was not financially capable to write a score, hire actors and dancers and singers, choreography, lighting, set design, rehearsals, promotions, posters, ticket sales, renting theatre, props, costumes, sound, stage crew, hair and makeup, medical, insurance just to get to opening night. Reviews from strangers could nick pick every act apart making all the investment a waste or get audience approval and move to a larger venue on Broadway making the cast celebrities. Revenue will increase along with salaries. Take the show on the road like a circus requiring truckers and hotel reservations and contracts with theatres, clubs, arenas and festivals. Cast could vary with every stop due to illness, performance, legal problems or sexual complications. A recording could be made of the songs, but you lose the choreography.
It was a good experiment (like writing a book, television script, poem or song).
