In my continuing effort to
keep my mind active and my eternal search for new creative ideas to stretch my
imagination, I bring you… “The Musical”.
Some years ago, in the last
century, my collaboration writing of songs ended. My lyricist and singer
decided to move across the river and produce more humans. I still wanted to
make noise, so I took the latest ‘Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band’ album
and made a parody. It is a bawdy affair, but fun to do. By the bicentennial,
I’d bought a house with a basement and had set up a pseudo studio with no
engineer or baffling. A multi-track reel-to-reel tape recorder allowed me to
layer guitars and vocals. To hear the experiment, you can listen at https://soundcloud.com/pvtsalts
I grew up on movies. They
were either war movies or Bible movies, but a few were musicals. On television,
every guy had to know how to ride a horse and every celebrity had to sing and
dance. ‘Bye Bye Birdie’, ‘Oklahoma’, ‘Carousel’, ‘West Side Story’ all had
stage presentations before they moved to the celluloid big screen. They are basically telling a story
in song and dance.
I didn’t have a particular
theme but figured, like a book, each song could be a chapter or short story
with a repeating cast of characters.
For the cast, I chose my
friends (aka Significant Students), creating costumes that personified their
particular personality as I perceived it at the time. This was the
mid-seventies and drugs were involved.
One was called ‘the Lover’.
He wore bright tights with a giant heart on the chest. Over that were a pair of
boxers with hearts printed all over them. Of course, there was a cape. The
foreseen big haired, spandex rock gods about to appear on stage. A teenage
girl’s fantasy always in the spotlight.
The next was a disciplined
military symbol of an endless war overseas. With ribbons and medals and sashes
and a sword, he marched about exclaiming freedom through might, but with a
hippy beard and long hair. He was ‘Genad’. A chick magnet due to the
uniform.
‘Road Runner’ needed no explanation. Leather WW1 flyers cap and
googles. A black leather motorcycle jacket with a long white scarf. Thick
riding gloves and cowboy boots finished his outfit. This character was a
romantic, but had no time to waste.
The spiritual leader was ‘Doc’.
Wearing a white medical tunic or a black priest vestment and collar with a
halo, he was the key character for the religious numbers. During the tawdry
numbers, he would run about shaking his finger at the goings on. Other scenes
he’d take the lead. You’ll see.
‘The Kid’ presented innocence. Wearing strip t-shirt and
knickers, appeared as someone out of an ‘Our Gang’ comedy. A face covered in
freckles with big red high tops and a beany completed the look. Sometimes he’d
appear with a giant lollipop. Sometimes he’d appear in a clown face. Sometimes
he’d appear in black face. He is mostly a mime and didn’t speak.
The last character was just
the opposite. ‘Gramps’ was a mixture of Gabby Hayes and Jerry Garcia.
Frosty gray hair and long beard with sunglasses to hide his age. Suspenders
holds up baggy pants and while resting in a rocker in the wings, he’d smoke a
pipe and play a guitar.
Female characters were for dancing
and background singing as a mixture of cheerleaders, vailed belly dancers,
tough biker babes, beach bunnies and a smattering of prom queens.
Let us begin.
Act
1
NEVER GAVE A DAMN
The curtain opens with all
the cast stomping around on the stage and pointing at the audience. Behind them
are images of riots and war and explosions and car crashes. At the time, the
protest slogan was ‘Give A Damn’ trying to get people involved in politics,
economics, inhumanity or be aware of the future.
“We jogged thru
the parks to mugger’s delight
We raced
ourselves home, for hours at night
We tamed the
waves of the oceans might
And we smogged
the sky that stole our sight
and we never gave
a damn
never gave a damn
never gave a big
god damn
We banned the bomb,
but fought the war
We gave Blacks
pride, but they wanted more
We spent our
millions to even the score
To find a
"Great Society" and then ask "What for?"
and we never gave
a damn
never gave a damn
never gave a big
god damn
We murdered a
president just to watch him die
We took every
drug, but never got high,
We thought we
found the truth, and never gave it a try
And we stood on
the moon with no wings to fly
and we never gave
a damn
never gave a damn
never gave a big
god damn
and we never gave
a damn
never gave a damn
never gave a big
god damn”
The
music fades and the background changes.
Act
2
GOOD TIME MUSIC
Suddenly, the mood changes.
The depressing images are changed to flowers and birds and smiling children.
The light brightens and the music picks up pace. The cast goes out into the
audience they had previously scolded instructing them to stand up, clap their
hands and dance in the aisles.
“Here we are
Singing a song
for you
Ease on back
Hope you will
enjoy the view
Here we are
Singing a song
for you
Ease on back
Hope you will
enjoy the view
Here we are
Singing a song
for you
Ease on back
Hope you will
enjoy the view
We're goin' have
good time music
We're got
ourselves a good time beat
come on, clap
your hands together
Stand up upon your
feet
We're goin' have
good time music
We're got
ourselves a good time beat
come on, clap
your hands together
Stand up upon
your feet
We're goin' to
have good times
Talking about
good times
Goin has a good
time
come on and sing
along
We're goin' to
have good times
Talking about
good times
Goin has a good
time
come on and sing
along”
The
curtain closes and the audience returns to their seats.
Act
3
THE LEADER
The lights dim to a single
spotlight. The ‘Lover’ is a solo acapella keeping singular attention of a rock
idol.
“I am here,
I am the leader,
Look this way,
Listen up
try and follow
the words I say
I am here,
I am the leader,
Look this way,
Listen up
try and follow
the words I say
For the truth is
often bolder
than the way you
thought it was
And the guy
looking over your shoulder
might be a
priest, might be the fuzz
I am here,
I am the leader,
Look this way,
Listen up
try and follow
the words I say
(repeat)
We're gonna have
a good time
but don't forget
where you are
You're punks in
steel and concrete
and I'm the star
r rr rr r r rr rrrr
and I'm the star
r rr rr r r rr rrrr
and I'm the star
r rr rr r r rr rrrr”
The
spotlight fades.
Act
4
WHISKEY DRINKING SONG
There have been drinking
songs since sea chanteys to drunken slurred frat songs.
In the darkness there is
scrapping of a set change and when the lights come up it looks like a local bar
(aka Cheers). Each cast member sings a different verse.
“A single sip of
a new brewed mass,
to sample a
"taster's try",
A truck brings
the bark of your dog,
and a dust cloud
hits your eye,
by bottle, by
bag, by case, by keg,
they come from
miles around.
To drink soothing
relief of their troubles.
Before they head
for town.
And the thoughts
fill your mind,
of what you leave
behind,
Causing a surge
of fire to the brain.
Your mouth says
what you think,
as you head back
for another drink,
to cry your blues
away.
Stumble, half
crawling, to your truck,
the silence dries
your tears,
Stirring up
gravel, to even the score,
for all those
broken fears,
Speeding doesn't
help to blur your thoughts,
Two lights pierce
thru the fog,
A black and white
head down a dusty road,
Brings the barks
of your dog.”
Lights
fade.
Act
5
BURGER SONG
Some more shuffling of the
stage set and when the lights come up the bar has been transformed to a counter.
The cast are wearing matching vest with paper hats. Dancers, wearing aprons,
carrying trays with paper wrapped burgers tossing them into the audience.
“Hold the pickle,
hold the lettuce,
Hold the mustard,
hold the ketchup,
Hold the onion,
hold the bun,
the size of this
burger is sure no fun.
Eat um hot in
paper bags,
or eat um when
you go in drag,
Eat um up with
coke and fries,
or crusty, tasty,
mo-mo pies
Shove it down and
pour it in,
You've got to eat,
you've got to win,
So, pour it down
and eat it fast
Your next bite
might be your last.
So, hold the
pickle, hold the fries,
Stop the soft
drinks, stop the pies,
Slow it down, and
eat it right,
Three good meals,
morning, noon, and night.”
Curtain
close.
Act
6
JOHN BOY JOHN
There was a new craze of
religious musical (aka ‘Godspell’ and ‘Jesus Christ Superstar’) so why not get
on the band wagon?
The curtain opens to a dimly
lite stage. ‘Doc’ steps forward. The rest of the cast and dancers marching
around carrying a plate with a head on it. There is blood all over the stage.
“John, boy John,
You were hot as
fire,
When the
disciples,
were on the hire,
But you lost your
head over Jesus,
You lost your
head over Jesus.
Up to your neck
in water,
when
"HE" came along,
Following
"HIS" words,
trying to sing
"HIS" song,
The words you
said over Jesus.
"HE"
broke your bread,
and spread
"HIS" word,
But
"HIS" voice was weak,
and could not be
heard,
And the 12 were
fed over Jesus.
On the water
"HE" said, "Come follow me,
I'll make it calm
on an angry sea."
The skies turned
red over Jesus.
John, boy John,
What is your
alibi,
If you were
somewhere else,
then you won't
have to die,
But you prayed,
and bled over Jesus.
Jesus Christ,
we remember what
you said,
And John, we
forgot you,
Soon after you're
dead,
Now you've lost
your head over Jesus.
John, boy John,
You were hot as
fire,
When the disciples,
We’re on the
hire,
But you lost your
head over Jesus,
You lost your
head over Jesus.”
The
dancers change into hazmat suits and mop up the stage as the curtain closes.
Act
7
JUMP
(Warning: This is about suicide).
The cast stand on an empty stage looking up while a background of sirens and
bullhorns
“Nervously you
take a look around,
and ten flights
down, on the ground,
a crowd starts to
form, you hear a sound
telling you to
jump,
telling you to
stay,
The priest is
here to "save your soul",
or give you
"last rights", before you go,
and the crowd
yells up, "On with the show"
and the film crew
sets up just in
time.. e e e e e e e.
It's time to take
your glide,
with TV lights as
your guide,
waiting to give
you a ride,
telling you to
jump,
telling you to
stay.
It's a crime they
say you will commit,
Tomorrow you'll
be a misfit,
it's your show,
you'll be a "hit",
and the film crew
goes home to the
midnight news.
The audience
cheers for an encore,
climb back up, and
do another soar,
but the Police
lines say, "Sorry, no more...."
Stage
goes dark and the curtains close.
Intermission
Act
8
BLACK BOY BLUES
The entire cast comes out in
black face doing a shuffling jive step. Each character takes a verse.
“White man, suck
your cigarette,
cross the street
and tighten your tie,
we know yo never
got high,
You're a high
school junkie, that's why.
Smiling at a
cheerleader, you touch her hair,
She looks you
over with a blinding stare,
Cause your style
of love just doesn't compare,
The way that our
love can do.
Popcorn at the
drive-in, you gain her trust,
Making it simple,
so she thinks that she must,
Between the
sheets of a cheap motel, she cries in a hush,
And you give her
half your name.
Running onto the
field, they let out a gasp
Grasping helmets
in hand, they let out a gasp
Think you only
fake a
but the crowd run
'round you to form a new mass,
A worship to
their "new " hero.
Now we sold you
our best for cheap labor,
and we feel that
we've paid your dues,
So, you better
start looking over your shoulder,
the next
"slave" might buy you. “
The
curtain closes as smoke fills the stage and the sound of sirens.
Act
9
TO TELL YOU
This is ‘Road Runner’s’ song
of love. He chases all the dancers around who all scorn his attention.
“You called me on
the phone,
but I did all the
talking,
You asked me a
simple question,
but I kept on
balking.
We've got to make
it last,
for I have no one
but you,
and you know,
you can,
lean on me too.
You said you like
my style,
so, I tried all
my loving,
Now we'll have to
leave school,
spend our time
making money.
We've got to make
it last,
for I have no one
but you,
and you know,
you can,
lean on me too.
You gave me all
your love,
now our families
growing,
I plead with you
to stay,
but you say
you're going.
I've tried before
to tell you,
But I haven't
found the words,
that I have no
one,
want no one but
you,
We've got to make
it last,
For I have no one
but you,
and I know I can
lean on you too.”
The lights dim
as the dancers go off stage leaving ‘Road Runner’ on his knees begging at the
sky.
Act
10
YOU ARE A FOOL
‘The Lover’ comes out to
chase off ‘Road Runner’ and gather the spotlight attention. Then he addresses
the audience.
“You're a fool,
to believe,
That we care,
for we're not
here to,
entertain you,
all those long
hairs,
to speak out
You try to show
us your way,
You try to make
us smile,
You try to cry
all over us,
someday give a
try....,
You try to show
us your way,
You try to make
us smile,
You try to cry
all over us,
someday give a
try....,
You try to show
us your way,
You try to make
us smile,
You try to cry
all over us,
someday give a
try....,”
The
rest of the cast and dancers reappear on the stage.
Act
11
GOOD TIME MUSIC (refrain)
Repeat of Act 2.
“Here we are
Singing a song
for you
Ease on back
Hope you will
enjoy the view
Here we are
Singing a song
for you
Ease on back
Hope you will
enjoy the view
Here we are
Singing a song
for you
Ease on back
Hope you will
enjoy the view
We're goin' have
good time music
We're got
ourselves a good time beat
come on, clap
your hands together
Stand up upon
your feet
We're goin' have
good time music
We're got ourselves
a good time beat
come on, clap
your hands together
Stand up upon
your feet
We're goin' to
have good times
Talking about
good times
Going has a good
time
come on and sing
along
We're goin' to
have good times
Talking about
good times
Going has a good
time
come on and sing
along (repeat and fade)”
Act
12
FOLLOW YOU
‘Doc’ starts this off, only
to be pushed aside by ‘The Lover’. This is the last scene to wrap up their
philosophy, religion, culture before a final bow.
“Christ,
we're shooting
down the highway,
trying to see
things your way,
Clouds,
are forming on
the highway,
and your words
are beginning to fade,
For we haven't
seen a vision,
on our hotel
television,
you are under
suspicion,
Christ,
we've set a great
spread,
for you to break
the bread,
with plenty of
burgers to be fed,
to the ones you
raised, from the dead,
But you haven't
had big tricks,
you won't let us
have our kicks,
your recruiting
seems to be fixed.
Christ,
you were such a
crazy guy,
preaching to
follow you as you died,
climb up, get
nailed, give it a try,
You will join me
up in the sky,
We still will buy
your crosses,
plastic markers
find no losses,
do you care how
much it cost us,
for eternal life,
eternal life life
life
eternal nal life
life life lif lif”
Curtain close.
Amendment: “THE MUSICAL” has
never been performed on stage. Other than what you’ve read and imagined from
the description, there is no music video of a performance. Why?
My inspiration was to write a
‘musical’. The idea of a stage presentation with a cast of characters was my
goal. No central theme but just a variety of songs presented by dancers and
singers in costumes. I was not emotionally ingulfed by the project to carry it
any further than some sample recordings with a single voice.
I was not financially capable
to write a score, hire actors and dancers and singers, choreography, lighting,
set design, rehearsals, promotions, posters, ticket sales, renting theatre, props,
costumes, sound, stage crew, hair and makeup, medical, insurance just to get to
opening night. Reviews from strangers could nick pick every act apart making
all the investment a waste or get audience approval and move to a larger venue
on Broadway making the cast celebrities. Revenue will increase along with
salaries. Take the show on the road like a circus requiring truckers and hotel
reservations and contracts with theatres, clubs, arenas and festivals. Cast
could vary with every stop due to illness, performance, legal problems or
sexual complications. A recording could be made of the songs, but you lose the choreography.
It was a good experiment
(like writing a book, television script, poem or song).
